Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Loneliness of the Tortured Soul.

I was once standing looking at the sky. It was black and brooding, almost malevolent. But nontheless, it was coming. The storm.

The storm within me was begining its climb, from my gut to my chest, an ever increasing tightness, fusing with the awful collection of thoughts, that seem to collude to increase its emotional power!

My mind was in numbness, waiting for the inevitability of it all. Then the shaking in anger, the tenseness of each muscle, the helplessness of what will happen. The scream that never comes, the shout that is never heard. At that time in my life, I was suffering intense turmoil, the result of a physical trauma.

I have screamed, many times. There was never anyone there, suffice to say, that when I, after many sufferings of the soul, found my whisper, it was not the friends I found there, it was myself.

He had been missing for sometime, but, he had changed, and that change carried with it the new life he sought. Looking back now, I am glad it all happened, I am more able to be human, and understand.

I was lucky, very lucky, some suffer forever, without hope. I had hope, and she came in the form of a horse.
(Thanks Valance!)


  1. You're welcome. Powerful, Cheyenne. Very powerful.

  2. Powerful indeed. I know this journey and it ended with a horse for me as well.

  3. Had a bad day today, it sometimes comes creeping back. Needed to get away from work, so left early. Found myself where I always go, poor Barney, Gracie and the youngsters! Still they never take sides or offer stupid advice.

    Sorry about this, Just one of those days I guess.

  4. Sorry to hear you're having a bad day today. We all have those sometimes. I hope tomorrow is better and that you find time to be with your horse.

  5. I always, as I`m sure you do, allow time for the greatest being there is.