Thursday, June 03, 2010

Bacon & Bling!

So, there I was, standing in the kitchen. I originally thought a 6 am start would be too early. But no, it turned out to be about right!
Now, I`m not usually the type to cook semi naked! But today was the exception. Some riding friends were staying over, a couple of good buddies, you know the type, alcoholics! Of course I had to make the breakfast, and as luck would have it, I had tried to get an early shower, sorry, that wasnt to be.
Charley was already in there, talking to the Great God Pan! I did mention to him the previous evening, that perhaps he should go easy on the whisky, but Charley, being Charley, had already become oblivious to all reasoning!
As my wife, bless her, was staying with her daughter for a few days, I had suggested pehaps I should ask the boys over. Great idea! ....But back to the stove. I was standing, albeit semi naked, in front of it, with only a hand towel for the prevention of fat burns to certain areas, when I began to notice that the bacon these days, wasnt up to snuff! In fact, it was really quite piss poor.
Of course we all buy this pre-packed stuff, the usual back bacon, but for me I like fat! Good ol` crispy fat! As a child, my mother would let me dip bread into the fat from the bacon, oh! how lush! .....Sorry, so the bacon in the skillet had started out to be a reasonable size, but now after only a few minutes in the pan, had shrunk to the size of a mans "sausage" in a Northerly gale!
I was, to say the least, a bit miffed! But I`ll put most of my thoughts down to the drink from the night before. I think perhaps I should start to get out more! Or maybe buy better bacon. Oh and the bling? Well, a friend of mine,(so he says!) brought me these spurs, all the way from the USA. I thanked him profusely, and made a mental note to hide them from sight for ever!
Finally, I would like to say that the breakfast went well, I would but I can`t. Charley was still in the loo, and Bob, he stayed in bed!
So, waste not, want not! I made the effort to eat a goodly sized full English! Anyone want a sausage?


  1. Those are some fancy spurs for sure. Sounds like you and the boys had a pretty good time for yourselves anyway, even if the bacon shrunk up on you.

  2. Sure did! My good lady is due back tonight, so need to get the house upto her standard! I should co-co!

    Yeah the spurs are a bit Bling! i`m sure he ment well! I`m going to try a dry cure bacon next!

  3. They sure don't make bacon like they used to. Hope the house passed inspection.

  4. Does anything a man does? I find myself leaving obvious faults! Like a small piece of paper just under the settee. No what I mean?

    if you do to good a job? Well!

  5. You cunning *******!