It was a silly thing to do……………….The mirror was lying to me! I didnt look that good! No way!………..But? If the mirror says so? Who am I to argue?…..It was then my wife walked into the bathroom, and with a casual wipe, with a cloth, removed the steam from the mirror! The soft focus effect? It was gone! There I stood in all my glory, naked, rumpled and in need of several face lifts, all over my gorgeously un buff body! “ Oh God!…..I need a new body!….A new face and several other bits!……..”
I began to shave, the plastic triple bladed cheap razor, slid across my neck. It then, while I was admiring my own countenance, sliced through the only mole on my entire body! The one blemish I have avoided slicing, for the last forty odd years! “Bugger me!”
After a blood soaked fifteen minutes, and with the entire contents of the Kleenex box pressed against the sanguinating mole! I finished shaving. Today was going to be a good day! I was really determined, so with a casual look at the clock, I grabbed my clothes and left the bedroom.
It was still the middle of the night! Actually, a little after 5am! I know! early, but needs must when the devil drives. Plus I had to be at work for six. While making coffee, I proceeded to start the routine of left leg into shorts, followed by right leg. Great, was doing good so far! Coffee smelled great! Trousers on and then shirt, toast in the grill! Tuck shirt in trousers, milk into coffee, and fasten belt! All done. Breakfast, tasted just right!
The drive to work? It was good, still dark and the rain was coming down in buckets! But this was a special day! My arrival was met by the usual stoical faces of men destined to carry out the same routine day after day! My first task of the day as in any day, was the toilet. Now for those who dont wear boxer shorts? Down came the zip, followed by?……”Where the hell is he?……Jesus H Christ!…….C`mon!”
But no, as the pressure built, and the lack of any outlet tube, i was starting to panic! there are simple rules when dressing in the early mornings, especially when the day started badly. Always check to see which way you put your shorts on!
Yes today was a special day………………..it was my Birthday!…..But like the rest of life, it can be full of shit, or full of good stuff. Today was a mixture. But one things for sure, I wont need to worry about the mole on my neck anymore!