The tick was embedded in my skin. In fact, I hadnt noticed the little blighter attach itself. But as I perused the little creature, its chewing gum coloured body, was already swelling. I had heard of all the various illnesses these buggers can pass on to humans. Yet, I wasnt panicking, infact I was dead calm. It was not within me to race about screaming, nor, was it in me to prance and point. No, I was more the, “fuck me!” type.
I had spent the afternoon, grooming the four equines, I have the pleasure to own. They, while grazing the rich green grass, that covers their pasture, had allowed the little “ticks” to attach themselves, to their bodies. So, obviously, I had acquired one of these little blood suckers. It continued to suck delightfully on my blood, and I began to notice several things begin to happen. the first was, that my interest in these Arthropods was increased. Also I was aware that there were three illnesses, that are transmitted, by the little buggers, Lyme borreliosis, Babesiosis and Ehrlichiosis.
Trouble is, I couldnt decide what to do, knock it off? Burn it off? Rub Vasilene on it? Or, drink vast quantities of alcohol, and hope it gets drunk, and falls off!
I, being of a very sanguine character, opted for the latter! Sure enough, after several bottles of wine, and a large quantity of whisky, I was free of the little shit!……..It lay on the wooden floor, hic-cuping like mad. Finally, it whispered, “I fink me livers buggered!”…….It then died.
I fortunately, never contracted any illness, however, my wife wanted to know why I was totally pissed out of my brain, and why I was talking to a chewing gum coloured blob on the floor…….I started to speak, and then gave up! No one would believe me anyway! I would like to offer some advice. …………….But I have decided no! No advice to you, from me, can ever be enough!