Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Grey Blob, and why Drinking Can be good for you!(not to be read by those of a squeamish disposition!)

The tick was embedded in my skin. In fact, I hadnt noticed the little blighter attach itself. But as I perused the little creature, its chewing gum coloured body, was already swelling.  I had heard of all the various illnesses these buggers can pass on to humans. Yet, I wasnt panicking, infact I was dead calm. It was not within me to race about screaming, nor, was it in me to prance and point. No, I was more the, “fuck me!” type.

I had spent the afternoon, grooming the four equines, I have the pleasure to own. They, while grazing the rich green grass, that covers their pasture, had allowed the little “ticks” to attach themselves, to their bodies.  So, obviously, I had acquired one of these little blood suckers. It continued to suck delightfully on my blood, and I began to notice several things begin to happen.  the first was, that my interest in these Arthropods was increased. Also I was aware that there were three illnesses, that are transmitted, by the little buggers, Lyme borreliosis, Babesiosis and Ehrlichiosis.

Trouble is, I couldnt decide what to do, knock it off? Burn it off? Rub Vasilene on it?  Or, drink vast quantities of alcohol, and hope it gets drunk, and falls off!

I, being of a very sanguine character, opted for the latter!  Sure enough, after several bottles of wine, and a large quantity of whisky, I was free of the little shit!……..It lay on the wooden floor, hic-cuping like mad.  Finally, it whispered, “I fink me livers buggered!”…….It then died.

 

I fortunately, never contracted any illness, however, my wife wanted to know why I was totally pissed out of my brain, and why I was talking to a chewing gum coloured blob on the floor…….I started to speak, and then gave up! No one would believe me anyway!  I would like to offer some advice. …………….But I have decided no!  No advice to you, from me,  can ever be enough!

12 comments:

  1. Never heard of this particular cure for ticks. Found one in the fold of my upper eyelid one day after an out door concert in an area plagued with deer ticks. Had it extracted at a walk-in clinic, had it tested, and found that it was a carrier of Lyme disease. Got the antibiotics and lived to tell the tale. May have a stiff drink now in memory. . .

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  2. This tale came about because of an incident, an ever so small thing. It was nothing to do with ticks! I was working with a friend, building a house, and the subject of wives v ticks came up! I was going through a messy divorce, do you see where I am going?

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  3. You're a funny guy. Most guys would have smashed it.....or run screaming.... but drowning a divorce is quite common I'm sure!

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  4. Dear Ron & Shirley, your gentleness of reply, is much appreciated.

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  5. Ohhhhh how funny .....well not really. Little pests in life are most unwanted at the best time ...big and small. Alcohol does wonders at times doesn't it. My wee stint in giving up didn't last long. seven days and I thought my throat was slit. Tonight a bottle of red went down the hatch......the tick in my life at the mo .....my boss!!!!(and the bloody dog who keeps running away)

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  6. I can sympathize Sally! Been there!

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  7. Hahaha, totally gross and totally funny!

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  8. Thanks Funder. Glad you approve.

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  9. So, should I keep my horses drunk to keep the ticks at bay?!? Probably not a good idea...I'll stick with their garlic powder...save the wine for me!!

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  10. Hahaha! I don't think that next time our Jones (dog) get's a tick i can just feed him wiskey untill the tick falls off... my little doggie might pass out before the tick!

    Thanks for sharing!!!
    leontien

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  11. Finally, a minute or two to catch up on my favorite blogs. Ticks are a plague here.

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