Its been a long time. I seem to be having a mental clear out lately, to be honest, its been quite therapeutic. It all started with a by chance meeting this year, in the brief summer that we had. Remember I told you about chap, a motorcyclist? Anyway, after that incident, nothing happened for a while apart from a few broken ribs, from falling from a horse. But a few weeks ago, and I`m telling you all this because I can, something else happened. I was on a website for veterans over here in the uk.
Now most people think we Brits are a bit reserved, and we can be, its just we dont show emotions easy. Anyway, I was on this website, and I decided to make contact. 30 years after the events.
I know you all might think this isnt what you signed up for, well, its not horse! But everybody has a past, its just mine is ….shall we say a bit checkered? I heard nothing for a few days, and then I was contacted by a person with whom I had been in service with, although not the same unit. Its so weird, how the years came flooding back, how time stood still, and how it felt like yesterday………….almost as though it was. I got chatting on line, carefully at first, and then without revealing any real details, I …………was talking to an individual with the same thoughts. I didnt realise how many there are of us. I have to say, I havent felt better, than I have now. I never really knew what was wrong, never understood what it was that made me avoid others, and kept me awake at night. Now your probably thinking, here we go! No not so, I sort of knew, but didnt, if that makes sense? …………………This afternoon, I went to see my horses and stood for what seemed like a half hour, in fact it turned out to be closer to three! My OH, found me stood in the mud, surrounded by my friends. She brought me home.
I tell you all this, in effect to inform you all, that I have finally found an answer. I believe this to be the beginning of the end for me. Its funny, all these years, and all it took was a few words on a website.
Amazing!……….I should say, I am now in a good place, better than I have been for many a year. ………We have had a few meetings, and there are now three of us.
Thanks for listening.