Thursday, November 29, 2012

Something Happened On the Way to the End.

Its been a long time. I seem to be having a mental clear out lately, to be honest, its been quite therapeutic. It all started with a by chance meeting this year, in the brief summer that we had. Remember I told you about  chap, a motorcyclist? Anyway, after that incident, nothing happened for a while apart from a few broken ribs,   from falling from a horse. But a few weeks ago, and I`m telling you all this because I can, something else happened.   I was on a website for veterans over here in the uk.

Now most people think we Brits are a bit reserved, and we can be, its just we dont  show emotions easy.  Anyway, I was on this website, and I decided to make contact. 30 years after the events.

I know you all might think this isnt what you signed up for, well, its not horse! But everybody has a past, its just mine is ….shall we say a bit checkered?  I heard nothing for a few days, and then I was contacted by a person with whom I had been in service with, although not the same unit.  Its so weird, how the years came flooding back, how time stood still, and how it felt like yesterday………….almost as though it was.   I got chatting on line, carefully at first, and then without revealing any real details, I …………was talking to an individual with the same thoughts. I didnt realise how many there are of us. I have to say, I havent felt better, than I have now. I never really knew what was wrong, never understood what it was that made me avoid others, and kept me awake at night. Now your probably thinking, here we go! No not so, I sort of knew, but didnt, if that makes sense?  …………………This afternoon, I went to see my horses and stood for what seemed like a half hour, in fact it turned out to be closer to three!  My OH, found me stood in the mud, surrounded by my friends.  She brought me home.

I tell you all this, in effect to inform you all, that I have finally found an answer.  I believe this to be the beginning of the end for me.  Its funny, all these years, and all it took was a few words on a website.

Amazing!……….I should say, I am now in a good place, better than I have been for many a year. ………We have had  a few meetings, and there are now three of us.    

Thanks for listening.

11 comments:

  1. PTSD aka Post Tramatic Stress Disorder! Familiar to me as my son served two tours in Iraq. I know he always feels so much better just talking to his Army brothers, even if it's just chit chat. Those who've been there, done that "just know"! Kind of like only another military Mom really gets me :)

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  2. I can understand that talking to someone who feels the same way as you do might make a big difference to how you feel. Friends and family can listen and be sympathetic, but they can't really understand in the same way as a person who's been through similar experiences.

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  3. So much for reserve. Be well.

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  4. I think its great to have those moments.
    I hope the healing continues for you!!!

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  5. I am pleased you are feeling better. Chequered past huh? Hmmm xx

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    1. Yes.............Many and varied.

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  6. This is an uplifting post, thanks for sharing, so happy to hear you're on the up and have found some peace. Standing and just being with your horsey friends can be so therapeutic, they want so little but give so much.

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  7. Im so glad you took the chance and signed up for the website. SOunds like a perfect thing for you guys to all get together and chat.

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    1. Thanks Crystal, sounds awful, blokes chatting! Urgh! Lol!! But thanks for all thoughts. Its been a funny week.

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