Its been a while since I shot some one, anyone. But, with things been quiet over in Blogsville, an` since that “friend” o` mine came back and set ta farmin`, I sorta got the urge!! ……
I ain`t the farmin` type, no, no other reason than its too damn hard! An` they ain`t invented Tractors yet! So it was with a very heavy heart, I set out for Rimrock Canyon. Ol` Joel MacCrae had said it was ripe with outlaws an` wanted men. I kinda thought about Valance then. The head of Rimrock Canyon was narrow, but there was life, a small adobe dwelling had been turned into a Saloon, come gamblin` den. From the edge of the Canyon, I could see the yellow light from a sputterin` oil lamp, spill across the dried mud at the shacks entrance. Several hours later, an` with a tired horse between ma legs, (no comment please!) I lit down from the hoss, an` let the reins fall across the hitchin` rail. The hoss were`nt goin` no place. Ol` Joel was right, as I pushed aside the creakin` batwing doors, an` stepped inside, I could see a few faces from the past. Some I liked, some needin` killin` and some needin` a wash! But I was here fur the killin`.
I moved across the sticky wooden floor, I say moved, `cos there were`nt no way other than ta take it real slow, on account of the spit and tobacco juice. Checkin` around, I noticed a small group of no good film actors playin` 5 card stud, there was Haydn Sterling, wanted in five cinemas for bad acting, George Raft, wanted for over acting, and Walter Brennan, he was the worst! Wanted in all film studios for not wearin` teeth! I carried on ta the bar, got me a drink, and settled in for the night, I was waitin`.
A little after midnight, in he walked, tall, handsome, and with those rugged looks, an` with a good lookin` dame on his arm. ( She was quite small!) I knew him straight away, Randolph Scott! One of the worst kind. For years he had paraded across the silver screens of the world, always wearin` that damn hat, the same tiny neckerchief round his neck, an` with the same damn hoss he always rode! Must a been a hundred years ol`! (the hoss!)
An`! He always nearly played the good guy! Things need ta change. He had ta go!
Puttin` ma drink down, I called him out!… But he didnt budge, I called him again, still no reply, then I realised, the sound man was asleep! This time he stood tall an` faced me down. “Draw that Hog leg!” I hissed, he replied, “ Sorry son, got no time, I`m due in rehearsals in 5 minutes!”
“I dont give a damn! Draw that iron!” An` with that smooth southern drawl he repied,” Ok son, lets step outside, an` finish this!”
Out side, the cast an` crew were all drawn round in a circle, it was time. I thought of Valance right around now, but he couldnt help, it wasnt in the script.
I faced the greatest cowboy on celluloid, an` he faced me, the scene was set, Randolph went for his gun, I was quicker, I had never slapped leather so fast in my life. My hand hurt. But I thumbed the hammer back, and sqeezed the trigger! But it was too late! Someone shouted “Cut!”………..