“Cut!” Was the last word I needed to hear. But if I hadnt, things would have gotten out of hand, as it was, Randolph Scott could breathe again! I left the scene with bad grace, but she didnt mind. I stepped out of the Saloon, out into the dark night, I apologised and carried on.
I could clearly see my ol` hoss, leanin` casual like, against the hitchin` rail. Calm as you please, I looked at her and she at me, she was a beauty, graceful and ………….Ok! thats enough, lets move on!
I was lookin` for the man that wasnt there, he wasnt there last night, or the night before, so I guessed he wouldnt be here tonight. I checked the script and made a mental note to avoid using the same writers again! A short time later I rode into trouble! Yes Trouble, with a capital T, they called it Big “Trouble!” I called in on the Sheriff, we had tea and I had a small French fancy, she didnt give me her name, an` I wasnt askin`!
Crossin` over to the saloon, I saw a sign on the door, but I needed a drink, so the sign could wait. “What`ll it be stranger?” Came the casual question from the bartender. I looked at him and said, “How`d you know ma name?” He looked right back at me, “Its in the script son!”
Two paragraphs later, and there she was! Tall blonde and fit to turn a mans head! But what I couldnt understand was, what was Virginia Mayo doing in this script? Some one must be dreaming! I shook my head, and shouted “Stop this!” But I didnt pay attention, and carried on, Virginia slapped my face, nothing happened? C`mon! She slapped me again, (re writing the paragraph hurriedly) She slapped me again! Thats better I thought! My face was red, and it stung. But thats what you get from shaving with a Bowie knife!
I left town the next morning, ol` Mayo was wavin` g`bye! I caught the train back ta Blogsville, by god it was heavy! ……….(Old ones are the best!) My ol` hoss was where I left her, leaning on the hitchin` rail. Cool as a cucumber I mounted her, (that doesnt sound quite right, does it?) we rode out of town together, headed for where I knew there was better jokes and even better whiskey! Valance Porch! ………See ya there some day!