Friday, May 27, 2011

“Whomsoever!” A small History of Me.

“Whomsoever,” now isnt that a really interesting word?  I often see it written, in the most “English” of prose and verse.    I also remember the Vicar, at my first marriage saying that wretched word!He was a tall man, slightly stooped with an intensely sallow complexion, a walking Cadaver of a man! His booming voice, seemed to echo  around the church, to this day I reckon he was a portent of my life to come!  

It was down to him, the whole damn shooting match!……I sha`n`t reiterate the whole phrase, in which that word was embedded, suffice to say, no one stood up and gave a reason why I should not Wed!  I look back on my first marriage with a great fondness,  it was a collection of rows, arguments, and harsh silences! Interspersed with the odd happy moment. I was far too young to do the deed, indeed at 25 years of age, far to young, and with too much “energy!”

My pre-married life had consisted of various “opportunities” with select people, and some not so select!   Like minded people who  were  leftover from  the so called 60`s love revolution!  They still wore flared jeans and Tie-dyed “T” shirts! I must have missed something there?

Looking back,  I can see where life had me by the short and curly`s, I was to quick to give.   Once given, I had to give to someone else! 

But my moral duty prevented me from other dalliances while under the spell of marriage, which for me was like an alcoholic not having a large whisky!  My brother, bless his soul, was more of a steady type, sound and courageous, never did anything wrong, always paraded as a paragon of virtue. I liked him.  He had the brawn  of a Rugby player, and the eyes of a lost dog.    Women swooned at his feet, but for some reason he was at a loss as to what to do?   (Whereas I ?) 

He, bless him, finally got hitched, she was a delightful creature, (more of the night than daylight!) prone to much buying of clothes and shopping with those “women who lunch!”

I always felt that my life was being directed by some mad 1920`s German film director, shouting orders through an overly large Megaphone! Everyone running about in rather badly made costumes, with terrible sets, but perhaps I am being too simplistic,  I look back at my life with some laughter, and with some tears. The people, all the lives I have touched,…………………and then pray to God, they are all ok!

Dont get me wrong, I am no philanderer, no sir, these days I would rather have a cup of Tea!………tastes better and lasts a lot longer!  I shall now end with a rather old joke:

A man bought a Cockerel, he put it in with his flock of hens, and watched to see if the Cockerel was of stout stock!

Sure enough, the Cockerel performed magnificently!  During the next few days, each hen was attended to by the Cockerel, but he wasnt done with just a few scrawny hens! He tried his luck with all manner of  fowl and beasts of the field!

One day, the farmer, out for a stroll, came upon the Cockerel, he was lying on his back, both feet in the air. To all intents a purposes  he looked dead!  The farmer thought his Cockerel had died through over exertion!  But above the Cockerel, circling in the air, were two black Vultures, and  as the farmer leant over the Cockerel, the bird opened one eye, winked at him, and said, “do you see those big buggers up there? They`ll be down in a minute or two”!


  1. Well, as long as you are content where you are now! I'm sure we all have a bit of a "past"!

  2. Hahaha, I often feel the same way about my life. It's a surreal comedy.

    Love the rooster joke!

  3. I like it, saying a lot without saying too much.

  4. Well well well... I wonder what brought all THIS on?????

    Rooster joke was great, I needed it. I'm in a pickle here, haven't written about it ... yet.

  5. There's a joke about a man and wife at a stock show looking at the stud bulls. "This one," she says, reading a sign noting the bull's performance, "has sired 365 calves in the last year," and she gives her husband a nudge. He nods and says, "Yes, but not with the same cow."

  6. hahaha I did have a wee laugh at this post ..... I'm sure all you've met through out your life have survived just fine . I guess your horse is the one to be extra nice to now ......they have a way of planting your backside on terra firma real quick if they dont like you ......oh and the clothes shopping lunching ladies .....they obviously dont have horses. My horse is the best dressed in this neck of the woods and some days probably has a nicer lunch too

  7. I know that phrase...I think I have ONLY EVER heard it used right wherte it has been in the vows!

    Well some parts of the past are only good for a wallowing in, and nothing else, save a good road marker huh!
    Have yuour Tea and i hope the "Me Time" is to be had soon!

  8. This post came about, while I was watching a late night movie, "Four Weddings and a Funeral!"

    It reminded me. So there I was and it all came flooding back to me!

    Shirley: I am.
    Funder: Thanks, and yes!
    Susan: Thats it isnt it, a balance!
    Mary Ann; As explained.
    Ron: Nice one!
    Sally: Now thats a good reminder, sure is fact!
    Allhorsestuff: Thank you, and yes the "me" time is almost there!

  9. Thanks for the smiles, Cheyenne. Enjoyed the joke, too.

  10. How ya doin` Valance? Good ta hear from ya, thanks.

  11. Just rolling along, Pard.