“Whomsoever!” A small History of Me.

“Whomsoever,” now isnt that a really interesting word?  I often see it written, in the most “English” of prose and verse.    I also remember the Vicar, at my first marriage saying that wretched word!He was a tall man, slightly stooped with an intensely sallow complexion, a walking Cadaver of a man! His booming voice, seemed to echo  around the church, to this day I reckon he was a portent of my life to come!  

It was down to him, the whole damn shooting match!……I sha`n`t reiterate the whole phrase, in which that word was embedded, suffice to say, no one stood up and gave a reason why I should not Wed!  I look back on my first marriage with a great fondness,  it was a collection of rows, arguments, and harsh silences! Interspersed with the odd happy moment. I was far too young to do the deed, indeed at 25 years of age, far to young, and with too much “energy!”

My pre-married life had consisted of various “opportunities” with select people, and some not so select!   Like minded people who  were  leftover from  the so called 60`s love revolution!  They still wore flared jeans and Tie-dyed “T” shirts! I must have missed something there?

Looking back,  I can see where life had me by the short and curly`s, I was to quick to give.   Once given, I had to give to someone else! 

But my moral duty prevented me from other dalliances while under the spell of marriage, which for me was like an alcoholic not having a large whisky!  My brother, bless his soul, was more of a steady type, sound and courageous, never did anything wrong, always paraded as a paragon of virtue. I liked him.  He had the brawn  of a Rugby player, and the eyes of a lost dog.    Women swooned at his feet, but for some reason he was at a loss as to what to do?   (Whereas I ?) 

He, bless him, finally got hitched, she was a delightful creature, (more of the night than daylight!) prone to much buying of clothes and shopping with those “women who lunch!”

I always felt that my life was being directed by some mad 1920`s German film director, shouting orders through an overly large Megaphone! Everyone running about in rather badly made costumes, with terrible sets, but perhaps I am being too simplistic,  I look back at my life with some laughter, and with some tears. The people, all the lives I have touched,…………………and then pray to God, they are all ok!

Dont get me wrong, I am no philanderer, no sir, these days I would rather have a cup of Tea!………tastes better and lasts a lot longer!  I shall now end with a rather old joke:

A man bought a Cockerel, he put it in with his flock of hens, and watched to see if the Cockerel was of stout stock!

Sure enough, the Cockerel performed magnificently!  During the next few days, each hen was attended to by the Cockerel, but he wasnt done with just a few scrawny hens! He tried his luck with all manner of  fowl and beasts of the field!

One day, the farmer, out for a stroll, came upon the Cockerel, he was lying on his back, both feet in the air. To all intents a purposes  he looked dead!  The farmer thought his Cockerel had died through over exertion!  But above the Cockerel, circling in the air, were two black Vultures, and  as the farmer leant over the Cockerel, the bird opened one eye, winked at him, and said, “do you see those big buggers up there? They`ll be down in a minute or two”!