“M`Lud!……I didnt do it!…….” The cries of unbridled anguish rattled around the courtroom. Poor Aunty Jane!……Infact poor me! There we were, me a fine upstanding citizen of this fair, demoralised and bankrupt Island, and standing next to me, was poor Aunt Jane!
“Silence! In this court!…..Another outburst like that, and I`ll hold you in contempt!” The judge showered spittle as he strove to utter those very words! Banging his Gavel for all he was worth.
The courtroom was packed to the rafters, all the villagers, the newspaper reporters, even the local Tv news was here! ! forget the name of the programme, something like, “Border Crack and Deek-about? “
But I wander from the story!
As we were dragging the poor Policeman, you remember! The one that admired the laburnam tree! Well, it turns out he wasnt alone! There were several Cops doing house to house that night! A bad move on our part! It was only a matter of time, we hadnt really thought about where we were going to put him, we were running out of space! It was then Aunty Jane suggested, “Lets bung `im in the Garden Pond!” She was right, so we did, he stayed there for some days, until Mrs Hepplethwaite, from next door called round, on account of the bad smell!
Our Lawyer was now on his feet,” My Lord, it has not been proved that my clients had anything to do with the dead bodies in the pond, compost heap or the two workmen found in the drains! (Oops! I forgot about those!) Therefore I must object to this line of questioning!” He sat down, to be immediately replaced by the Council for the prosecution!
“ My learned friend is mistaken! We have incontrovertible proof that they both conspired to commit murder and we shall show it!”
It was at this point, that the judge, dressed in his wig, and robes started banging with his gavel again, now here is where the story gets interesting!
You see, the head of the Gavel flew off! Right across the courtroom, with such force, that it killed the Council for the Prosecution! Stone dead!…………At which point our Lawyer bless him, asked for an adjournment, with Bail! Now anyone with an ounce of sense, would have said No! but the Judge so taken aback with shock, replied in the affirmative! The court was cleared and we went home! So what? You might ask, well! had you forgotten the two mill! sitting in my garage? You had! Hadnt you?
“ `ere! You fancy some Cavy whatsit? Them little eggs?”
“Why not! In fact we could wash it down with some Bollinger? Lifes not easy, well at least for us! We have never been to Aruba before! Takes some getting used to, I can tell you! Say `bye Aunty Jane!….Bye!”